Albert de Morcerf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
assumedposition) wrote2010-07-05 07:13 pm
assumedposition) wrote2010-07-05 07:13 pm
Questions Meme
Albert reached 1,000 comments already!!! Yeah shut up don't judge me I have no life 8(.
Traditionally this is celebrated/justified with a first impressions meme of some description!
... However I am a cheater.
SINCE THE QUESTIONS MEME IS GOING AROUND, I'M DOING THAT INSTEAD.
... Though you can still ask for a relationship/first impressions response if you want.
Traditionally this is celebrated/justified with a first impressions meme of some description!
... However I am a cheater.
SINCE THE QUESTIONS MEME IS GOING AROUND, I'M DOING THAT INSTEAD.
... Though you can still ask for a relationship/first impressions response if you want.
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1/3
... I'mma break this down into days because it's easier for me to progress linearly that way :|a
Day 1/Day 141: Meets Hydracula!
Everything is fine and dandy \o/. People are nice! He has a few doubts about himself ("Out of all the messages I could've left for myself, why did I choose "Don't ever hate anyone"?") but manages to quash his confusion and myriad of questions with a blanket of warm and fuzzy feelings like being protected by his teammates and making new friends.
TL;DR Albert is a giant girl.
Day 2/Day 142: Game 93 lololololol.
I have essayed about this at length already in chan and to various people and it's leaked in to threads too so I'll try not to keep this too long. Basically the gist of it is this:
Albert goes in to game naive and optimistic. Excel is his teammate! Excel is also injured, so his fool self says to her "I will protect you. I promise." Because that's the sort of guy Albert is.
They get INTO the game anddddd... it's worse than anything Albert could've imagined! He was about to volunteer himself to stay behind with Jim in the first round until they get confirmation from Flowers that they can't split up the teams lololo and Lucky is nearby UPCHUCKING from the heat, so Albert knows he can't possibly volunteer them for that room. So he waits until a verdict is made, feeling like SHIT all the time, and hopes that the next room will be something better he can volunteer them for! He doesn't SAY any of this because he is at least smart enough to know that doing so would be digging his own grave.
... BUT THE NEXT ROOM IS WORSE \o/. Not only that, but Blood starts taking down Bunnycorn almost instantly and Albert is ... well, horrified. Wh-What happened to civilized discussion guys?! Can't we work this out?! Why is everyone here so jaded?! Excel just grabs a bat and tells him to get a hammer. Just like that. Pretty much the only thing that's running through his head is SHEER TERROR. Despite his morals, despite everything he believes in, he can't even move a single muscle to intervene in the fight because he knows what'll happen if he does! THEN FAITH STEPS IN and Faith is like... THIS TINY LITTLE HELPLESS INNOCENT GIRL I SHOULD BE PROTECTING!! WHY IS SHE DOING WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING AND GETTING HURT AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH D8 D8 D8. I AM THE WORST! SHE'S GETTING HURT BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!! WHY AM I SO WEAK AND PATHETIC AND USELESS?
Third room ... does this even need any explanation \o/;;. He feels like the whole cave-in thing was his fault because he was too weak to stand up to Soujirou and then that involved EVERYONE ELSE and so instead they all wasted too much time and got SQUASHSED \o/. Of course this logic is faulty but this is Albert we're talking about, logic isn't his strong suit anyway. IF ONLY I HAD BEEN STRONGER BAWWW.
2/3
Proceeds to have lots of time to himself confined to the bed and tries to beat himself up over what happened the previous day, as ya do. Team ... triiiies to talk to him about it, but the more they try to tell him that he did well for his first game the more agitated he gets (mostly because he doesn't feel like he did anything praiseworthy) and ends up asking everyone to "Just Drop It/Leave Me Alone" like the emo-kid he is :'D. (But really, he's not just ready to talk about it.)
Later on, FRUIT HEALS HIM, ALL IS DANDY except not because he still feels like shit. He tools around a bit in the Hydra dorm feeling useless and guilty, since Akito and Dera have been up all night worrying and only just fell asleep, and eventually steals off to the lake so he can pick flowers and get some time to himself and space to breathe.
...lolo ONLY NOT because he runs into EVERYONE there. He tried to put on his happy face and forget his emo in some of the threads but if it was directly brought up in the thread he ended up getting emo-splurge all over whoever it was, because he hadn't had a chance to talk about it and sort out his feelings beforehand LIKE THE IDIOT HE IS \o/. So a couple of really important points happened there--
Basically: he gets... conflicting advice from Kirk and Syaoran which he doesn't really know how to reconcile. He looks up to Kirk so he is a person whose advice and logic Albert will ACTIVELY LISTEN TO if he gets it (as opposed to advice from Dera, which he selectively listens to as he sees fit, which is a whole different essay in and of itself)... and Kirk is all "Well sacrificing yourself is noble and all but in reality you will usually end up in Deep Shit if you do it and cause a whole fuckton of trouble for your team! Also, you shouldn't feel bad because your logic is FAULTY and there wasn't a whole lot you could've done anyway!" This answer does a lot to ease Albert's guilt but it doesn't ... sit quite right with him. It's not the world that Albert is prepared to accept yet, because he is stubborn as the day is long and has that very typical protagonist NEVER GIVE UP attitude.
Soooo then he gets his unresolved emo all over Syaoran and Syaoran is all "Well, if you feel like your conduct was wrong, maybe you should keep that in mind the next time you find yourself in a similar situation." LOLOL. While Syaoran isn't a person Albert particularly looks up to, unlike Kirk, his advice DOES ~speak to his heart~ and he can't ignore that either! So basically he has two conflicting sets of advice and no idea what to do with them or how to reconcile them.
Aaaand then he meets Dani who basically jesuses the everliving crap out of him and generally makes him feel a lot better. While he still doesn't know what to do, it gives him hope (which was what he really needed more than anything) and helps his general mood a lot :|b.
EEEEVENTUALLYYYY he goes and has a bit of a cry on Shigure and gets it all out of his system, with the end result being that while he still doesn't know what the right thing to do is, he's going to vow to get stronger so he's less of a burden on his team and so he can protect people in the future, since that's about the only thing he knows he can do right now. THE GUILT ISN'T GONE but he's come to terms with it and the fact that there's nothing he can do about it now so he may as well move forward. And his answer to that is to spend his next few days getting Agito and Dera to train the shit out of him so he can, at the very least, protect people (and himself) in future. (HA HA SO NAIVE AND INNOCENT STILL.)
IN AMONGST THERE SOMEWHERE there's also some guilt for causing his teammates to worry and a general feeling of uselessness (which he's doing his best to squash), some fail-crushing on Yayoi (AHHHHH SHE MUST HATE ME AHHHHHHH D8), some making friendships with Canis peoples (and subsequently getting ticked off at people for being suspicious of him just for being Hydra and arguments about that) AND, perhaps most importantly, some doubts about his former life. (BECAUSE WHAT SANE AND GOOD PERSON WOULD VOLUNTEER FOR THIS?)
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There's not much going on here that's different from the end of the previous day, emotionally \o/. But he's determined to do SOMETHING so getting training from Dera is both a good distraction and a mood-improver because it's working towards his goal of getting stronger :|a.
ALONG THE WAY other things that improve his mood are chats with VARIOUS PEOPLE about an idea that Mitani planted in his head the day before! Namely, the "LET'S STOP THE KILLING" plan ... which is of course doomed to end in tears and failure but it's a very ... Albert thing to do ... because he is naive and innocent and EVERYONE ELSE IS JUST JADED WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL \o/!! But for the time being it's giving him a much more concrete and optimistic goal/purpose to focus on than something vague about memories and a wish, which he can't really relate to right now.
So basically all that blather was a long-winded way of saying: THERE WAS SOME DEPRESSION, BUT IT'S OKAY, HE'S GOOD NOW. KID BOUNCES BACK FAST. He's taking things a little more seriously now and he'll probably still shoulder that guilt for a while, but for the most part he is currently back to his usual self for all intents and purposes.
--
OH WAIT I HAVEN'T UPDATED THAT FOR 145 okay here goes.
Day 5/Day145: DUMBNESS.
Starts off at the same place as the day before. The day starts with RIDIC HYDRA ANTICS as there is a flying lizardactyl above them, idek, that was a fun thread + increased Albert's Hydra bonding level or sth. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING in between that and when they came back from the Hydra-Canis meeting in the afternoon, but it was probably training or exercising of some description. He's not good at sitting still for long periods of time, after all.
SO the elders get back from the meeting and A) Scowl is depressed and B) he gets told off by Shigure big time. SHIGURE IS NOT MAD AT HIM which in a way makes things even worse, because then he feels like it won't be fair for him to be mad at Shigure either, AND HE WANTS TO BE MAD AT SHIGURE >8(. So he's feeling a little bit of typical parental resentment towards Shigure right now! Also got into a STUPIDFIGHT with Dera at the end of their antics thread, so awkwardness between them has risen significantly too \o/.
UNABLE TO STAND THAT MUCH LONGER he took off to do something else; namely make friends with other people \o/. He's not quite sure what to make of the new teams yet but the people he talked to didn't seem too bad! Then he met Cepheus as well and that was a pretty good end to the day, so.
IT'S A MIXED BOAT REALLY. Upbeat on the surface mixed with DETERMINATION!!! to get stronger and protect people, with a layer of discontent lurking underneath the surface over what went down today and then deeper beneath that some lurking doubts about himself and a whole lot of guilt and feeling useless \o/.
... THAT'S THAT.
YOU DID ASK. (For future reference, I am absolutely incapable of summarising anything EVER.)
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Aaand OKAY mine will be much less exciting. Pyre is at the moment perfectly content! She's excited to have new teammates! She's also really crazy.
Some backstory quick: when she got here she was not... idealistic exactly, but willing to try and believe in the other teams! And that worked for a while, but then was her first trauma style game (that I didn't fall asleep during ahahahaaaaa orz), which was the Haunted game that involved leaving teams behind to move forward. It was just her for Hydra and also Lucky (and Chika?) for Hydracula. That time people decided that it made more sense to draw lots and move forward efficiently jaded veteran style, and she publicly freaked out at how calm everyone was being. People responded as is pretty normal, with the fact that freaking out doesn't help the people in danger and that fighting back makes it worse. At which point Lucky acted as her moral compass. By stating that everyone else was being dumb and this wasn't reasonable at all AND if their number was called they would fight the hell back for her. Lucky was already in a "smart person trust her" sort of position, and at that point their brands of crazy overlapped very neatly, so Pyre accepted that model completely. The game went on after that and it turned out to be a big fake-out and everyone was safe buuut the fact that no one knew that at the beginning stuck with her.
Since thennnnn lots of little things have reinforced that initial reaction. She's gotten back 6 memories, and of those 3 have involved killing people \o/ She was so determined that she was right and justified in the memories that that feeling carried over without question, and she's quietly accepted that it's okay as long as the other party deserves it. Simultaneously, Pyre's started upping the paranoia and hating all the other teams, and has decided they all deserve whatever they get! (except for do not shank people) The two other trauma games ended in injured tinies, which means she's completely blind to any good things people did in them and exaggeratedly aware of all the horrible things they did. So even when there's mercy killing and united revolt to spite Trickster going on in the one game and newbie rebellion of idealism in the most recent one, she can only see someone consciously deciding to kill Hana or some crazy fuck trying to attack Albert and Excel. She sees everything as a way to justify her beliefs of how the world of her memories/Sabra works, and has yet to have that seriously challenged. Aaand while that goes on she's grown very, very attached to Hydra (and -cula to a lesser degree) and can remain cheerful and content there. Surely she doesn't need anyone else! It's okay!
ALL THAT TO SAY: she's not at all surprised at the badness of recent times and has had no serious reconsiderations. Of course people are going to hurt the most defenseless people! They're all shit! But it's okay because Hydra's so great and smart and brave |D Next time we'll show them |D I'll show them ALL |D Oh hey cookies |D
uuh any very first impressions? They're prob v vague at this point but I'm curious anywayyy
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Albert currently has NO IDEA about how crazy Pyre really is. He thinks of her as "the girl teammate" and as someone who is nice and who worried over him after that game, so definite POSITIVE POINTS. He's curious about her and wants to get to know more about her, because she doesn't act like what Albert's idea of a typical girl is, so he tends to think of her more as one of the boys than of one of the girls! WHICH IS A GOOD THING because Albert fails at talking to girls like, whole bunches.
Aaare there any impressions to ask for back yet |D?
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Shut Hell has an unconditional like for all Hydras, but she does like Albert a lot on his own too. He seems trustworthy and enthusiastic which is def. a good combination, and the way he's been acting and trying to be there for people means that basically he's already been sorted into "most important." Though she is doubtful of his beliefs, she's very forgiving of them for now because she's expecting him to come around and realize what this place is like soon enough, and thus isn't too worried! (there's actually a very small part of her hoping that could be a little bit right, but she's squashing it hard) At this point she wants to help him out whenever he needs it and be useful however she can and maybe gently push him in the right direction :D
Doo you have any Albert songs? Pre-sabra is fine too!