Albert de Morcerf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
assumedposition) wrote2010-07-05 07:13 pm
assumedposition) wrote2010-07-05 07:13 pm
Questions Meme
Albert reached 1,000 comments already!!! Yeah shut up don't judge me I have no life 8(.
Traditionally this is celebrated/justified with a first impressions meme of some description!
... However I am a cheater.
SINCE THE QUESTIONS MEME IS GOING AROUND, I'M DOING THAT INSTEAD.
... Though you can still ask for a relationship/first impressions response if you want.
Traditionally this is celebrated/justified with a first impressions meme of some description!
... However I am a cheater.
SINCE THE QUESTIONS MEME IS GOING AROUND, I'M DOING THAT INSTEAD.
... Though you can still ask for a relationship/first impressions response if you want.
2/3
Proceeds to have lots of time to himself confined to the bed and tries to beat himself up over what happened the previous day, as ya do. Team ... triiiies to talk to him about it, but the more they try to tell him that he did well for his first game the more agitated he gets (mostly because he doesn't feel like he did anything praiseworthy) and ends up asking everyone to "Just Drop It/Leave Me Alone" like the emo-kid he is :'D. (But really, he's not just ready to talk about it.)
Later on, FRUIT HEALS HIM, ALL IS DANDY except not because he still feels like shit. He tools around a bit in the Hydra dorm feeling useless and guilty, since Akito and Dera have been up all night worrying and only just fell asleep, and eventually steals off to the lake so he can pick flowers and get some time to himself and space to breathe.
...lolo ONLY NOT because he runs into EVERYONE there. He tried to put on his happy face and forget his emo in some of the threads but if it was directly brought up in the thread he ended up getting emo-splurge all over whoever it was, because he hadn't had a chance to talk about it and sort out his feelings beforehand LIKE THE IDIOT HE IS \o/. So a couple of really important points happened there--
Basically: he gets... conflicting advice from Kirk and Syaoran which he doesn't really know how to reconcile. He looks up to Kirk so he is a person whose advice and logic Albert will ACTIVELY LISTEN TO if he gets it (as opposed to advice from Dera, which he selectively listens to as he sees fit, which is a whole different essay in and of itself)... and Kirk is all "Well sacrificing yourself is noble and all but in reality you will usually end up in Deep Shit if you do it and cause a whole fuckton of trouble for your team! Also, you shouldn't feel bad because your logic is FAULTY and there wasn't a whole lot you could've done anyway!" This answer does a lot to ease Albert's guilt but it doesn't ... sit quite right with him. It's not the world that Albert is prepared to accept yet, because he is stubborn as the day is long and has that very typical protagonist NEVER GIVE UP attitude.
Soooo then he gets his unresolved emo all over Syaoran and Syaoran is all "Well, if you feel like your conduct was wrong, maybe you should keep that in mind the next time you find yourself in a similar situation." LOLOL. While Syaoran isn't a person Albert particularly looks up to, unlike Kirk, his advice DOES ~speak to his heart~ and he can't ignore that either! So basically he has two conflicting sets of advice and no idea what to do with them or how to reconcile them.
Aaaand then he meets Dani who basically jesuses the everliving crap out of him and generally makes him feel a lot better. While he still doesn't know what to do, it gives him hope (which was what he really needed more than anything) and helps his general mood a lot :|b.
EEEEVENTUALLYYYY he goes and has a bit of a cry on Shigure and gets it all out of his system, with the end result being that while he still doesn't know what the right thing to do is, he's going to vow to get stronger so he's less of a burden on his team and so he can protect people in the future, since that's about the only thing he knows he can do right now. THE GUILT ISN'T GONE but he's come to terms with it and the fact that there's nothing he can do about it now so he may as well move forward. And his answer to that is to spend his next few days getting Agito and Dera to train the shit out of him so he can, at the very least, protect people (and himself) in future. (HA HA SO NAIVE AND INNOCENT STILL.)
IN AMONGST THERE SOMEWHERE there's also some guilt for causing his teammates to worry and a general feeling of uselessness (which he's doing his best to squash), some fail-crushing on Yayoi (AHHHHH SHE MUST HATE ME AHHHHHHH D8), some making friendships with Canis peoples (and subsequently getting ticked off at people for being suspicious of him just for being Hydra and arguments about that) AND, perhaps most importantly, some doubts about his former life. (BECAUSE WHAT SANE AND GOOD PERSON WOULD VOLUNTEER FOR THIS?)